I'm not scared, per se. I know I can do it. I just don't want to anymore. It's uncomfortable, unpredictable, takes a lot out of you mentally and physically, and let's face it: it hurts, no matter how zen you are.
I've just decided... I'm not doing it. No thanks, I'm good with the back pain and insomnia and hugeness, I'm not going through the whole birth "thing". Mmkay? Cool.
Now that that's out of the way I'll give a quick update of things to date...
- Had a doctor's appointment, all is well in babyland. Bloodwork came back a-ok (no worries about platelets which came back low last time), group-B Strep results were negative, I didn't gain any more weight (woo!), and blood pressure etc were fine. Baby's heartbeat was lovely and fundal height is measuring right on. All good!
- Went over our birth plan with the doc and it went like this: "Yup, yes, yup, definitely, no problem, yup, for sure, no problem, yup." -- yay! The only things she questioned were my request for no oxytocin post-delivery, which isn't a problem but I said if needed I'd be fine with it; and delayed cord clamping which is still a bit debatable whether there are distinct advantages of doing it but they will definitely do it if I want. So, yay!
- Doc also offered to check my cervix to see what it's doing and I said "NO thanks!" -- remember, I'm not giving birth? Also knowing that I'm 1-2 cm or 3-4 cm is really irrelevant at this point (baby #3, you can walk around dilated at 3 cm for weeks!) so I'd just rather not know.
- Baby's room is all set up! (Except for hanging things on the walls and putting all the clothes away... soon!)
- Pack N Play is set up in our room and ready for babe!
- Back still hurts but not as much/often (maybe because of the lack of weight gain??)... and my feet aren't swollen hobbit feet anymore!
- Weird thing - when I get a Braxton Hicks contraction (at least a few times a day), blood rushes to my face and ears and I get a lot of pressure in my head. Apparently it has something to do with a rush of hormones?? It's totally weird but thankfully disappears quickly once the BH is done (a minute or two).
- Labour bag is packed and ready to go.
Now I just need to reassemble the car seat... Seriously wishing I'd taken pictures before I 'disassembled' it (ie, the frenzy of MustGetThisWashedRightNow!!), because THIS is what I am dealing with right now. Um... yeah.
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